Make beans without soaking – and live without being offended

Today I’m going to talk about a subject that I may have talked about before on Southern Plate, but I’m really in the mood to talk about it today so I don’t really care if I’ve talked about it before. I love that I get to make the rules over things like this! :)

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with someone about my “career”. I have to put that in quotes because it’s just tooo funny for me to say in a serious tone. If I had set out to have a “career” that would be one thing, but this all just kinda happened so rather than see myself as someone steadily setting and meeting goals, I just see myself as someone working as hard as I can, enjoying the ride, and not really expecting anything else to happen but appreciating it when it does. I’m pretty sure careers are more focused than that, but I digress (as is my gift)

Anyway, they said something and paused suddenly, afraid they had inadvertently said something that might offend me. I sensed it and laughed as I said “Look, don’t you worry about offending me. I don’t get offended. Even if you tried to offend me, you’d still fail.”

But I could understand the trepidation about offending someone, as it seems to be all the rage these days, and so many people have to worry if they will “accidentally” offend someone.

I’ve been looking, checking out the web and news outlets, asking around, and for the life of me I can’t seem to find out who is offering the prize for being the most offended or what that prize is, but there sure are a lot of people taking the competition seriously. Sometimes it seems like folks just wake up looking for the first opportunity to be offended.

And trust me, I realize that so much of what is out there is offensive, but goodness knows I don’t have time to stop what I’m doing and be offended by it!

The thing to remember is that most of the time, 90% at the very least, when we are offended by something, no offense was intended. And the other 10% of the time, when someone was actively trying to offend us, well people and situations like that certainly don’t deserve the attention we’d give it by bothering to take offense.

Christy’s first rule of not being offended: Don’t take a paper cut and turn it into a sword wound. 

I’ve learned that it is best to assume the best of people and have found that to be a good general policy in daily life (my attitude changes in dark alleys, mind you).

Christy’s second rule of not being offended: When you assume the best in someone and they disappoint you, it is a reflection on who they are. 

When you assume the worst of someone, regardless of how they behave, it is a reflection on who you are. 

Oh I know it can be hard starting out. Sometimes the drama of being offended is hard to resist, but resisting it has it’s own rewards so I decided to list a few of them :)

Christy’s Handy Dandy List of Reasons Not To be Offended:

I’m referring to myself in third person a lot today, but let’s just roll with it…

1. People can enjoy being around you. Being friends with an easily offended person is exhausting. Truly. Here is an example from my teen years but there are just as many silly examples around us today, and I’m sure you can find a few in your own life: There was a precious person I knew in my younger days who was always upset over something, someone had always hurt her feelings. Eventually, each of her friends ended up taking turns being that one person who had to apologize and then try to make it up to her. It got ridiculous. My turn came when I referred to her boyfriend as “my friend” in front of her. She was heartbroken that I’d used the term “my” with regards to her boyfriend and paraded her personal agony around school for well over a week until the next opportunity for offense came up to take the heat off my transgression.

That was when I came up with Christy’s third rule of not being offended: “Folks who complain about always having their toes stepped on need to look at how far they are sticking their feet out” and decided to keep my feet as close to me as possible. This attitude has served me well for a couple of decades now.

My dear aunt reminded me of a great quote from Dolly Parton that goes well with this “Get down off the cross, honey. Somebody needs the wood.

2. Being easily offended is draining to you, too. Imagine being at peace. having a smile on your face and laying in the sunshine absorbing the warmth and happiness of life. Being offended is opposite of that

3. Being offended is a distraction that hinders the ability to appreciate and notice the good things in your life. It takes a lot of energy, focus, and effort to be offended. We may not want to see it that way, but being offended is an action and actions require energy to back them up. We can take that same energy and put it into being happy and looking for the good in situations. If you’re going to be using your energy to gain traction on a road, don’t you want it to be on a road that leads to a good place?

4. Being easily offended is the sign of a fool. Wow, impact statement! I thought of saying “is not the sign of a wise person” but decided to just quote Proverbs instead. Either way, your Mama didn’t raise no fool. Proverbs 12:16 


Disclaimer time (kinda like Hammer Time! only different): Now I’m not talking about someone infringing on your rights. I’m not talking about someone stepping over the line in a big way. I’m talking about the little things. The petty things that we should let slide right off of us but instead we choose to let them stick to us like lint to velcro. Velcro is a bristly, uncomfortable thing. Don’t be velcro.

Sometimes, people themselves are just offensive. A while back, I spent a day working with one of the most offensive human beings ever to be born on this planet. On every level that I can possibly imagine I had a justified, sanctified, right to be offended. I endured it, I got over it. Rather than being offended for myself I felt sorry for him and all that have to endure him while I no longer have to. I had a victory party after that day – and a few showers.

I have friends who, because of situations on their lives vs situations in the world, have more right than anyone I know to walk around being offended all day long. Rather than do that though, they bob along happily, almost dancing on top of the storm clouds of life – just because they’ve decided not to be offended.

I’m so grateful for the example of people like that.

It is to a man’s credit to be quick to listen, slow to offend, and slow to speak. (James 1:19)

There is something to be said for being an even keeled person with a heart that shows grace to others. You know those people, you just feel relaxed in their presence. You know you can’t accidentally offend them because they are not looking for offense. Instead, they assume the best in you. I’ve been around those people enough that I want to be one of those people.

I decided a few years back to stop being offended. Life is dramatic enough without me manufacturing more.

Slow to take offense. Quick to love.

That’s the stuff.

Alright, so eventually I have to talk about food so here’s the deal. Today I’m going to show you how to make dried beans without soaking them ahead of time and without having to pay any attention to them during the cooking process.

Because I’m too unorganized to remember to soak my beans most of the time and I prefer to be neglectful of food that I’m cooking whenever possible.

There are many virtues to dried beans. They are a great source of protein for meatless meals, they taste AWESOME, I grew up on them, and they are a much more budget friendly than canned ones but at the end of the day, sometimes you just need a big bowl of pintos and cornbread for supper. It’s good for the soul.

This method and recipe is not just for pintos though. You can use this with any type of dried bean you like: Pintos, navy beans, northern beans, black eyed peas, black beans, limas, etc. If it’s a dried bean, you can cook it this way. Just take your favorite bean and picture it in the photos of this recipe because it will work.

So lets get started.

You’ll need: Slow Cooker, beans, salt, pepper, water, and preferably a ham bone to season it with. Pepper is not pictured here and is optional. I use it but I don’t force it to have it’s picture taken when it’s not in the mood.

I’ve found a great resource for hambones in my local ham store. These come LOADED down with meat , really enough for a casserole or skillet meal, and ready to go. They give me very meaty and delicious beans and they cost $3.99.

Sort your beans and place them in a slow cooker with your ham.

By “sorting” I mean look through them a handful at a time and make sure there are no stones. This is just part of life with dried beans. Sometimes, while being harvested, stones hop up from the fields and the machines can’t tell them from the beans so we have to do that on this end.

Add in your salt (and pepper if using)

This quantity pictured is a measurement my grandmama refers to as “a good bit”.

Fill up with water, to about an inch from the top.

Cook on low 8 hours. You can cook them for longer than that if work keeps you away. I have cooked mine up to ten before, no worries. As long as you have a fairly new model slow cooker (I recommend one that has been purchased within the last five years) and enough water in there, it’ll be just fine.

I often cook these overnight and then turn the setting to warm during the day so I can have them for lunch and supper but they also work great to put on first thing in the morning for supper that evening.

When you remove your lid, poke at the ham a bit until it all falls off the bone, then stir it up in there – but throw the bone away because you probably don’t wanna eat that :)

Note: The color of the walls in my kitchen are “sweet buttered corn“, not “putrid peas mashed together with a lemon” as my camera and lighting portray it in these photos :)

DIG IN!

Pictured here are these beans topped with Pickled Onions and Mama’s Mexican Cornbread.

WHOOWEEE, What a meal!

Make Beans Without Soaking

Make Beans Without Soaking

Ingredients

  • 12-24 ounces Dried Beans of your choice
  • Ham for seasoning (a ham bone or ham hocks from grocery store)
  • 1 tablespoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon ground black pepper, optional
  • 6 quart slow cooker

Instructions

  1. Place ham in slow cooker. Sort beans and pour on top.
  2. Add seasonings.
  3. Completely cover with water and fill slow cooker to within one inch of the top. Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours.
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Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.

~Rene Descartes

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Comments

  1. Cheryl Bone says

    Our ham store charges $9 but there is usually over 3 lbs. of meat on them which I promptly shave off for sandwiches and casseroles. I have them cut the bone in half so it will fit in the crockpot. Love to cook this lazy way.

  2. Ginger says

    Enjoy your stories as well as your recipes! I use the crock pot method to cook beans. I also cook them stovetop, never have soaked them, and they turn out delicious. My question is, do you wash and rinse your beans after sorting? I always put mine in a bowl with cold water, swish them around with my hand. Run though a colander and repeat until the water is clear. Then put them in the pot with fresh water. Just curious, I did not see anything about washing them? Keep the recipes and tips coming honey!!!

  3. Peggy says

    I Love,love,love your advice about being offended!!! The onion recipe is the bomb! Its the sugar that i was missing in it. It is the one my grandma made for supper most days when she thought there weren’t enough vegtables on the table!
    we of course love the beans too! Thanks again!

  4. says

    Christy, that was a great post! I love your WHOLE take on not being offended. It’s also wonderful that you quoted the passage from James…it’s just perfect. Thanks for sharing the info about the beans. I tend to do a quick soak method and now I’ll try this. Oh, BTW – I know we have a mutual friend in Stacey from Southern Bite…he is just great and has been a great mentor for me regrading blogging.
    Thanks!

  5. Courtney says

    Oh my gosh! This is my first time receiving your newsletter. I absolutely loved everything you said about being offended and I will take it to heart. In fact, I am going to save it! Thank you so much for sharing!!!

  6. Linda McFry says

    Christy, my Mother put me on to the fact that if you will just store your bag of dried beans in the freezer until you’re ready to cook them, then there is no need to soak…otherwise soak…the soaking just reduces cooking time on the stove but guess the 8 hour slow cooker is the same outcome.

    Also, years ago, I read/heard to bring your beans to a boil, pour off this water, using a colander, repeat one or two more times…more trouble but it takes the “toot” out of dried beans…the discarded water from pintos is yucky and no wonder it would be offense to our inside!

  7. Beverly Cabral says

    Guess I’ll be trying your recipe the next time I’m craving pinto beans. Sorting and also rinsing them, too. We always use to soak them and cook them in a crock pot too. Thanks for the recipe, Christy!

  8. Blondie says

    My 2 favorite beans are pintos and kidney beans. I enjoy making both (not together!) I’ve never soaked mine in my entire life…and I’m a baby boomer. When I don’t have a hambone, I put whole bacon strips in the beans, that way they are easy to fish out, since I don’t like the texture of boiled bacon. After I take the bacon out, I nuke them and they are yummy crumbled and served with the bowl of beans. Thanks for the “OFFENDED” lesson. Our egos are what make us offended in the 1st place.
    I hope everyone who likes beans will try this recipe. YUM!

  9. Jennifer Salins says

    I work in retail, so the ‘offensive’ part of the story really hits home. I’ve slowly learned (and am still learning) that people who are truly offensive are miserable, and it has nothing to do with me. It doesn’t mean that I appreciate being the target of their frustrations, but it makes me a little more able to handle it gracefully. And Christy is completely right, it’s not worth it to become riled up over someone else’s offensiveness, intended or not.

    Too bad I’m not a bean fan, but I may have to try this anyway…. ;)

  10. Jennifer says

    My 10 year old son is making this for dinner tonight (with your chocolate meringue pie for dessert). Rice and cornbread (my mom’s cornbread recipe) on the side.

    Goal: Raise boys who don’t need a wife, TV dinner, or restaurant in order to eat.

  11. Mary Ellen says

    I read this post a few weeks ago and searched for it again today. I love what you wrote about being easily offended…so true and so wise! I totally agree and was trying to tell a friend about it but you are so much more eloquent than me on this subject! I love describing it and saying that it is the prelude to a recipe on how to cook beans without soaking…lol! Thank you for the advice and the amazing recipes!

  12. Cindy says

    Hi Christy, I am going to use this recipe and make great northern beans & ham. Can I use a ham steak cut in cubes? Also do I still had my ham hock? Thanks for all your cool recipes.

  13. says

    I love what you said about offense!! Your sweet attitude is refreshing, but more than anything, it is the love of God in action!! I am so glad I discovered this site. I needed that word today, and I fully intend to read it everyday until I know it is good and rooted in me! Even Paul said he didn’t mind repeating himself because we needed it! Thank you for such a beautiful word…now I need to see the recipe! :) Blessings, precious heart!! Juliana

  14. MARSHA G says

    Christy, In reading your post today about your terrible year I totally understand but will not go into my year. What I did want to say was at one of my darkest days I was trying to kill time on the web to change my train of thoughts and low and behold I ran across your site and started reading. Your stories lifted me up and so gave me hope in the darkest of times. I begin to look forward to your emails as it was like receiving a letter from an old friend that truly cared and understood. My daughter who was only 17 at the time bought me your new book with money she had been saving for her senior trip from her summer job. She had witnessed what your stories of inspiration does for me and wanted me to have your book to read daily, which I do. my whole purpose of saying all of this is that God somehow directed me to your site and you have been such an inspiration, a ray of sunshine, and wind that is helping my wings to soar once again. So Christy you have been the good in my year! Thank you more than you will ever know. Hope you and the Jordan family have the happiest NEW YEAR ever filled with so many beautiful memories to last an entire lifetime.

  15. JOHNNY LONADIER SR says

    I WOULD HATE TO KNOW, I PAID $3.99 A LBS. FER HAM BONES, WHEN I CAN BUY THE HAM FER A $1.89, AND HAVE LEFT OVER HAM FER ANOTHER MEAL, OR FREEZE IT. AND YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU ARE FUGAL.
    HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND THE FAMILY
    FROM DE LONADIERS

  16. Peg says

    Happy New Year Christy,
    Love, love, love your new cookbook. Bought it from QVC when you were on the program, “In the Kitchen with David”. You did a great job that day. I bought 5 more that I gave for Christmas gifts. They all loved them too.

    Yes, being offended is a habit it seems. Just like so many other things it will totally swallow you up if your not careful and ruin your life.

    I am making Blackeyed peas for New Years using your recipe from today. Not for luck or prosperity. I have my good Lord to do as He sees fit and I will be satisfied. They are a tradition just like other foods my family wants for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    Thanks for a year of uplifting quotes & stories. You are the greatest!

    Peg

  17. Kay Little says

    You may have written this post over a year ago and I am just now reading it, but the principles are timeless with the word of God….and that is what I love about your blog! Great minds think alike…this is how I cook my beans….no soaking :) Love and hugs…

  18. Beverly says

    I’m trying this method as we speak. I’m usually not one to change recipes before trying them “as written”, but I’m using home-grown fat back instead of the ham bone. (It’s what I have.) I also add ginger to the pot to take the “toot” out.

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