100 Reasons Why I’m Not A Cowgirl – August 20th
I’ve had a lot of people asking me why I don’t update daily anymore like I did in the first week or so after the accident. It’s simple : I want you to stay awake.
Seriously, my life right now is pretty boring. I mean, I have two broke legs. I ain’t going anywhere.
I wake up at 4:30 or 5:00 and if I slept in the hospital bed I can get up myself but if I slept in my regular bed I have to wait on my husband to get up and bring my wheelchair to me (my regular bed is soooo much more comfortable but the hospital bed makes it easier on my family because I can sound the wakeup call and get the house going). I wake up the kids and scare up some breakftast for them. Then I help them get ready for school and set up a little station for me with my computer, phone charger, snacks, and some drinks. Once everyone leaves I transfer from my wheelchair to my hospital bed because that keeps the swelling to a minimum in my legs and I do my hair and makeup before starting work on Southern Plate stuff by writing, working on website stuff, or magazine stuff, until my husband comes home for lunch. Then I take a 45 minute break and gather more things to drink for when he leaves. The afternoon is much the same but I also try to sign 500-1000 book plates for my new book that debuts in late October. I take a few business calls and wait on my kids to get home from school.
I pretty much work all day just like I used to only now I don’t walk around any, or go anywhere outside of home.
I really miss driving. I miss it more than walking, even.
People ask my husband how I’m doing every day and his response is “Just waiting on the legs to heal”.
Our lives are far more exhausting than they were before, lots more work, but even so – very boring.
I have a doctor’s appointment to check on my progress two more weeks from now and I’m hoping to be able to move to the next phase of recovery by being allowed to put some weight on my left leg. That doesn’t mean walking because “some” weight is not “stand on your left leg” and I still can’t put any weight on my right leg at all. But it is progress.
Each day is progress, actually. My arms get stronger every day, which makes it easier to lift myself from one place to the next. My bruises fade a little more each day (they’re still there after all this time, can you believe that?), and the swelling goes down a little more each day. This morning my right foot looked almost normal!
It is amazing knowing that each and every day God is knitting my bones together and I enjoy talking to him about that. Just like He knit my bones together when I was being formed, it is such a special experience being my age and getting to experience that with him again.
So you won’t get a lot of daily updates from me because I know that your life requires you to stay awake and I’m just kinda sitting here, working, healing, chilling with my broke legs
Having said all that…let me contradict myself
I HAD SUCH AN EXCITING WEEKEEND!!
I WENT OUT OF THE HOUSE THREE TIMES!!!
I feel like I was a world traveler this weekend! I told my husband that I wanted to go somewhere Friday night (Now, keep in mind, I seldom go out on a Friday night even when my legs aren’t broke) so when he got home we went to a shopping center near us where I used a coupon I had to get all sorts of free stuff at this makeup store I like. Then we went to Gymboree because I had a $15.00 gift certificate and I bought some bike shorts and leggings for Katy (she wears them underneath dresses) and ended up paying $1.24 out of pocket.
THEN we went to J.Jill and REPLACED THE JEANS THE PARAMEDICS CUT OFF!!!
This was a thrill for me because those were my favorite jeans and I really wanted some more but I felt guilty spending the money – but it felt so good to be out that I decided to treat myself.
As we left, my husband did something silly, he actually headed towards home!
HA! Like I’m done with my field trip that quickly? I think not.
Okay Ricky, now we can go home
THEN Saturday, I gently reminded my husband (A few hundred times) that Taziki’s had Friday Pasta and how good it would be to have some. He immediately announced that he would go get me some later if I wanted and I immediately offered, out of the goodness of my heart, to go along for the ride.
On the way there, we stopped in Wal-Mart and I got some yarn. But it felt so good to be out riding in a car (and it is so much trouble to get into the car) that I wanted to prolong the ride so rather than go to the walmart 3.4 miles from my home, we went to the one that is 30 minutes from our home. ~giggles~ and then to Tazikis, where we ordered lunch and had a little picnic in the car with the windows rolled down.
It was a gorgeous and fun day for me!
On SUNDAY I told my husband I was out of conditioner. He said “Well, I’ll go get you some in a bit.”
He then proceeded to ask Brady if he wanted to go. Brady said no.
Then he asked Katy. Katy said no.
At this piont he noticed me sitting in my wheelchair staring a hole through him and he finally asked if I wanted to go. I said yes
So I got to go somewhere every single day for three whole days!
IT WAS AWESOME
Also, Sunday afternoon, we wheeled me out onto the back deck and I sat out there for over an hour, until it started raining, crocheting and listening to music and singing my heart out. I would apologize to the neighbors but the ones to the right of us are really kind and I know they wouldn’t mind one bit and the ones to the left of us don’t speak to anyone, so I don’t really have anyone to apologize to - which is even better
It was heavenly getting to be outside for a spell and today I am getting a ramp that a member of the Southern Plate Family, Miss Marynell Hill, is letting me borrow that will allow me to go out on the back deck EVERY DAY!
So I had a wonderful weekend
and I learned that I can crochet far faster than I realized.
This is Katy covering up with my halfway done afghan.
I had lots of work to do Sunday afternoon but I told my husband “Today I’m just going to realax and crochet and enjoy having broke legs.” There is something to enjoy in most any situation. Believe it or not
What is my takeaway from this situation at this point?
You know the big affirmation I’ve gotten from this? The big bold, glaring thing that God has shown me?
That He will absolutely take care of me if I just ask. He will see to my every need and the needs that I think need seeing to that don’t really, He will show me that I don’t really need that. (that sentence is confusing but it makes sense if you read it slowly).
And you know, I’ve always told folks that if you ever get to thinking the world isn’t filled with good hearted people, go to SouthernPlate and read some of the comments there and it will really restore your faith in mankind.
But wow. Even knowing that, even getting to read what is in your hearts ever day for the past five years. Even having had the chance to look in your eyes and hug your neck, even with all of that …I’ve been completely blown away by the kindness shown to me during all of this.
My heart is heavy with joy and gratitude.
I am completely taken aback and awestruck at all of the ways that people have helped me.
I read your comments on these posts and sometimes I can’t even respond because I just don’t even know how to thank you.
Cards, letters, packages that have been sent to me.
People cooking meals for my family -How do you even begin to thank someone for helping me take care of my babies when I can’t do it on my own?
Mamas at my kids school bringing them home to me each day so I don’t have to worry about my babies.
Bloggers stepping up and writing posts for me to allow me more time to handle the things I have to handle right now.
and just this past weekend, a friend cooked several of my recipes and took step by step photos for me so that I can write posts because I can still do the writing part but I can’t do the cooking and photography part as easily now. Can you believe someone would do that for me?
I’m stunned. I’m just overwhelemd wtih gratitude.
I always knew the world was a wonderful place.
I always knew I was blessed to have the people in my life that I have.
But I’ve always taken care of myself and never really needed anyone to help.
There is a passage written by Ranier Rilke that I have always loved. I read it for the first time as a teenager and memorized it then because I felt it was that important.
Now, I’m going to take liberty and rewrite it a bit. I am replacing “life” with God and “it” in reference to life with “He”.
So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloud shadows, passes over your hands and over all you do.You must think that something is happening with you, that God has not forgotten you, that He holds you in its hand; He will not let you fall.Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.”
In a post about two weeks ago I said that if I had the chance to make this all go away, I’d jump at it.
But today, I can honestly say I wouldn’t.
The life lessons I am learning from this experience, the side of humanity I am able to witness through all of this, the feeling of knowing that God is once more at work, knitting my bones together as He did when I was first being created, the wisdom and knowledge that He is feeding me each day through this experience.
I am forever changed.
My pastor has a saying that comes to mind.
“God loves you just the way you are. But he loves you way too much to let you stay that way.”
I am so grateful.
and if I could make it all go away today, I wouldn’t dream of it.
P.S. I’m going to be on QVC September 15th, wheelchair and all, with David Venable. We will probably be sitting behind a table. Hope you can tune in!